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I believe in true love, but i don’t think i’m capable of being in one

Please share!

I’m 20 and I’ve never been in a relationship. I want to and like to imagine myself being in a loving relationship and all the warm feelings that come with it. But when I get close to someone I feel kinda disgusted.. like “I dont like this” “I wanna end this”. I already tried..

I feel like love will makes me weaker in front of other people. I believe in true love, however, I’m afraid that I’m not capable to find one. I feel like my partner will never loves me like I love him or my love for him will be gone in a few months. And also it’s so hard to believe in other people relationships like when people announce their love to the world, I often think “it’s just a phase.. they’re gonna be broke up later” or “I dont think they really love each other that much”. Also I never made first move.

I do have several trust issues like never put my expectation high on people or most people never show their true color to the world.

I dont know why I become skeptical about love.. My problem is actually kinda similar to most people here, but the difference is that I don’t really know the reason why I became like this. I don’t have problem with my confidence, I’m not afraid of guys in fact I talk to them easily. My friend said that I have cheerful personality, but maybe that bcs I never told them things like this bcs I’m afraid that I’m actually overreact or they will think that I’m being dramatic.

i don’t have any problem within my family or my non-existent love experience.. my parents were in a loving relationship till my father’s death 4 years ago and my mother still loves him no matter what and refuse to get remarried although she already have many suitors.. am I philophobic? I want to have a loving relationship..

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