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Category: Male philophobia stories

My Fortress of Solitude

I’ve always been afraid of girls. Ever since April threw away the buttercup I’d hidden in her desk. She said I was gross when my friends told her it was me. The whole class laughed, and I can hear that laughter now like it was yesterday. That was over twenty years ago.That isn’t true though, about always being afraid. I tried again and again and again. When I was twenty I fell in love. We lived together, I thought I’d finally met the love of my life. She said she loved me too. After a while though, she stopped talking to me. She pulled away, and nothing I could do brought her back. It was hell, lying in bed next to her every night. Silence. Eventually I broke, I couldn’t take it any more. She was miserable and I let her go. I thought I couldn’t cry anymore. I was…

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Early childhood, perhaps

I believe to a large degree our experiences in our youth very much set our pathways emotionally and cognitively.When i was fourteen my father killed himself and it obviously had a huge lasting effect, i felt very unloved and feel this imprinted that love hurts in me deep. I was a young man and about six months after dad died my first loved dumped me, this event hurt as well. but i already cognitively knew that getting close to others caused (or had the potential to cause) the most excruciating mental pain ever felt.As life went on i felt the very strong honest call to be loved and love. Each time a relationship ended the exact same physical and mental pains returned, later on in my twenties a brother died and again the deepest love caused so much pain . and later a friend killed and later yet another brother…

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Destroyed relationship

I’m 26yrs old, somewhat philophobic. Never been in a relationship, but a few months ago I fell in limerence with a girl who fit all I seek from a dream person.I confessed, she accepted it, and we became a couple. However, only after 3 weeks .. something happened between the girl and her ex, she then start giving me silent treatment, in the pretext of needing space. However, due to limerence, I became really attached and persistent to get her to tell me whats happening. As days went by without contact, I start becoming upset, and my philophobia kicks in that I started being persistent asking whether she’s dumping me.Unknown to me, all my actions start pushing her away, made her angry. Finally I let her go myself as I could not stand the heartbreak feeling. Broke up with her through facebook because of lack of ways to contact her…

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All Too Familiar

I googled “fear of love” this morning to find out that it is called Philophobia. And, after reading just one page on this sight, I know for a fact I am one.I don’t know if it is completely due to my childhood or a combination of things, but I had a severely bad childhood. Basically everything under the sun besides sexual abuse was my upbringing till I broke away from my family at 20. I was forced to move around all of my childhood also, never having even lasting friendships.Unfortunately for me I have a very good memory and was smart enough as a toddler to understand some of the adult things I witnessed growing up, too embarrassing to ever repeat to another human being. Now at 28 years old, the kindest and the most beautiful woman (I literally mean this) I have ever met has been flirting with (and…

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love, betrayal

I’m 24 yrs old guy with two breakups so far. One was when i was 18 which took me almost four years to get over. Another one was when i was 22 which is even harder to forget. Now, even if girls flirt with me, I’m scared or don’t have a feeling for sincere love. It only works with my mind, i have stopped thinking with my heart which is what is more worrisome for me.Although i put up a facade in front of others i know i’m always suffering from solitude.I host lot of parties with my cousin and friends, some of the worst moments come when everyone’s having food. They feed their better halves whereas noone cares for whether i had food or not.Wish i never went through this.

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Fear on both sides

I’m not sure how to start this, so I’m just going to say what the title means. I’m terrified of loving and being loved, but at the same time, I’m scared of being alone. And with these two fears clashing, it’s constant hell. I’ve only had one girlfriend, but that only lasted about 2 months.. And quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever really recovered from that, even though it was almost 5 years ago. I was pretty much a rebound for her, and after that, I’m just scared of feeling the same hurt I felt after it ended. I’ve “liked” a few other women and had initially become friends with them. But was too afraid to tell them about liking them for quite a while. When I do that, they never feel the same and I end up driving them away, leaving me feeling even more hurt. Now I’m…

Read the full philophobia story... Fear on both sides