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Philophobia Posts

Do I follow my heart even though I know what’s right?

I met her my freshman year in college a week before school started during orientation. She was out of my league & she had a bf but I still agreed to be down with her. I wanted her to myself & I couldn’t just say that like that I thought shed laugh at me & call it off got with another girl to make her jealous & it worked & i had her all to myself.It was good but then I found these messages & I just felt crushed. So I started back talking to the girl & then just made everything worse. I didn’t love this girl she was just a decoy to get the girl I really wanted but I was so afraid that the girl I wanted would just leave me so I kept her around & that’s where I messed up at.I didn’t believe in myself.…

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She doesn’t need to be afraid anymore

I love a girl who is severely afraid of love, or maybe commitment, or both. I have known her since our younger days…not that we’re old, so I think in a way it gives us a little extra in the connection department.We have spent time with one another, gotten physical (sex), and can talk to each other for days about anything! The time we do spend together is amazing and the world doesn’t matter. She’s all I think about, we have talked about kids and marriage, we both know we want it but I feel like no matter what I do sometimes she just pushes me away.Our marriage talk will quickly turn to her telling me to “find someone better” and I feel shitty. I try and remember she doesn’t mean it and maybe I say the wrong things, or don’t support her as she wishes.However I am affectionate and…

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Love and body weight

Sorry that I am not a English native speaker. I am 25 years old and I haven’t even dated a single guy.I don’t have any confidence about my body coz I am a little bit chubby. But beyond that I truly believe that I cannot build a good relationship with my bf. I can’t let anyone to come into my life. I pretend that I didn’t not know their approach to me. But I know that I strongly want a perfect relationship with my bf and stay happily with this relationship.What am I supposed to do now? Gaining weight is related with my problem? If it’s so I really need a good curves feminine body.

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Out of my mind

I really fallen in love with a guy. He also melt in love to me. I and he got understanding and happy in our past time. We texted a lot of messages and talked with phone call at night. We met in outside as dating. He said to me “I am so happy when I talked with you. This time is amazing for me.” I feel this may be love. Once, he asked “you are so brave and strong lady and your confidential is so tie and I am scared of you.” I think this is make me kidding.This feeling is not true for me. I mean this feeling has no long time. Suddenly he don’t call to me and he don’t reply my messages. I texted “Happy birthday” wish. He didn’t reply to me. My heart will be broken slowly and I was so upset and angry so much.…

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I’m not entirely here

i try to love. i recently just broke up with my boyfriend. i have been a mad person since long before we met. he loves me so dearly. but how can he love someone he doesn’t know? the darkness is all I’ve ever known. boys don’t want me for “love, they want me for pleasure. and if you do want me for love, you’re lying. he told me he doesn’t like how i don’t care about anything. so i broke up with him. i have never dated a person more than once. he could have been the one, but hurt is all i know best. why don’t i care? because if i did care, then people would have a reason to hurt me. people don’t realize that love doesn’t exist. if it did, we would have happy endings. but in the end, we’re all dead.

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So my story is – lost my father at three, forced to move away from my grandfather at seven who also died a sudden death when I was twelve, sexually abused by a family member, got cheated on by two of my exes, abused by one and inexplicably dumped by someone else.I want to love but there’s only so much repair that can be done before a building finally collapses.

Read the full philophobia story... Construction/Destruction