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Philophobia Posts

I want to be comfortable liking someone

Im 15, almost 16 and i am scared out of my wits of love… Just the thought of being with someone forever makes my whole body tense up and i feel like every cell in my body is burning.Although i have had my share of boyfriends i thought that love was something you have to warm up too. So i stayed with them for as long as i could stand. Now i am so scared i havent been with a anyone in a while… just the thought of being with someone makes me want to light myself on fire. maybe theres no one for me? it seems like everyone has a match except me… I thought it was just because i didnt want to hurt myself by using someone else…And you know everyone is always talking about how love is the best thing in the world, and how it makes…

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I push them away and don’t know why

I seriously don’t know whats wrong with me.. Im seventeen, I’ve never really been in a “serious” relationship. I have had my share of boys though, but it seems as though I always push people away. I always seem to attract a friend. I have a lot of guy friends and they never seem to wanna be just friends and as soon as they make a move I run like theres no tomorrow. If not right away, eventually.. Right now theres this guys who claims to like me, a lot, but I can’t seem to grip it. I mean here he is telling me that he likes me and he’s never met anyone like me but I cant even tell him how I feel, he even called me cold an heartless. I don’t know whats wrong with me!, and know its probably too late.. Xoxoxo

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I regret being so mean

I’m only 15 so i’ve never been in love or anything but i have had a boyfriend. I don’t really think it counts because it was only for two days, but it was the longest two days ever. I’d had a crush on one of my best guys friends for over a year and i would always imagine what it would be like to kiss him and to hold his hand and fall in love. I wanted to, really badly. I’d never told anyone but all my friends still could see it and they insisted that he liked me too and that i was just blind, but of course i never believed them.Then a year later in eighth grade my friend, let’s call her Carly, decided to take matters into her own hands and let my guy friend know about my feelings for him and she thought she was just…

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He leaves when it gets too real

This is both a story about my philophobia and my ex boyfriend who caused it.I got my heart broken by my best friend. It was the most classic love cliche thing ever. I’ve always been an affectionate person and open to giving love and receiving it back. My best friend, who I’ll call Jack, and I had a crush on each other since we had become close but we didn’t tell eachother until one day by accident we found out and we decided to do something about it.Jack had a problem where he’d just…leave. Without telling me where he was going or without answering texts, emails, calls, pages and any other things you could think of he’d leave and come back four months later and pick up where he left off. He did it before we decided to be together and promised me he wouldn’t do it to me again.…

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Anxiety and emotional barriers

Since my divorce, I have been terrified of getting too close to another man. The thought of being with a man again scares and terrifies me because I’m always afraid that they’ll find a way to take advantage of me, that they are not all that nice, and that they will abuse my trust on some level.I admit I put walls up, and emotional barriers. I’ve caught myself. I find myself only attracted to men that are in one way shape or form not able to commit to me, because it gives me the semblence of a relationship, and when it goes bad, like it usually does, it reinforces the fact that I was waiting for the ‘shoe to drop’. I am admittedly afraid of nice guys. I know that they are potentially stable and able to love, and that scares me. I am terrified of feeling out of control,…

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My mother gave me trust issues

Im the type of girl who cant say no to people. People think that I am naive and that people manipulate and walk all over me. The truth is I know when someone is taking advantage of me or trying to manipulate me. I can read people like a book. But when it comes to love I am lost. I just cant open up to people. I feel like its a weakness. I think may have been because of my mother. She would build me up and make me promises and then break them and bring me down. She hurt me and my dad so much I just find it hard to trust anyone. People seem to be drawn to me but I am not really drawn to people. I just sort of back off when someone tries to get close and I hate it. People only see what is…

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