Skip to content

Philophobia Posts

Wake up

You just need to start loving yourself. Love can’t be in a person as you think, it isn’t about to be philophobia or get crazy for being alone, this life lesson is about enjoying your own company and sharing your love first with yourself, then all will come. When you start to feel comfortable with your own company, you really wont think like this ever again.

I mean stop searching for anyone who love you, and start to be in yourself relationship, its like your own boyfriend, girlfriend.

Keep smiling
🙂

Leave a Comment

Terrified

I feel this all the time. I think about telling someone about my feelings, or when someone asks me and I freak out. I never get close to anyone. I’m afraid to do so. I don’t go to people to talk about my problems, I prefer to do them on my own. If I had a bad day, or if I want to get things off my chest I can never do so.

My fear has always stopped me. To have people leave me when I told them everything and they couldn’t bare it, or if they don’t want to be apart of it. i know I have this, but I need to get over it. I want love, but I’m terrified of the outcome. To be in love you have to know the person, you have to know how they feel, what they feel. You have to trust each other, tell each other things.

But I fear that when or if I do, they will just leave and see me as a lost cause.

Leave a Comment

So I’m not crazy.. Sweet.

I was in a terrible relationship for many years with a person who had no idea about the value of my worth. Once I left him, I immediately began a relationship with a man who saw my worth instantly. I think I was just in need of the feeling of validation.

Once I was able to see myself in the reflection of his perspective, I gained my own. And then I was ecstatic at the thought of being single again, once I had been proven right that I was a beautiful person, inside and out; and I had only made the mistake of staying so long with someone who had made me question it in the first place.

The guy who valued me wanted to be with me; and was ready to start a new life with me, and I thought I was ready to reciprocate, but then, very swiftly, my feelings for him began to dissipate.

My first thought was maybe we moved too fast, and I was afraid he would lose interest.. But it was I who had realized that I never wanted to lose my eternal solitude; though I believed he was right for me in every way.

I started feeling like being with him would be like forcing myself to live in a tiny box, even though he never once gave me the impression that i could not be myself with him. I love myself, I’ve found myself, but don’t want to subject myself to any more close relationships; not even friends, which I don’t have many of.

I’m grateful for any help I receive from loved ones, but I absolutely despise dependency on another person. I’d rather die than feel like a burden.

Leave a Comment

New here- am I philophobic or is it something else?

I should probably be doing my maths homework right now, but I am a 14 y/o female, my friend is also female and she has asked me out. I have never really experienced amorous thoughts towards anyone, and the thought of this relationship terrifies me. I don’t know myself enough to know my own sexuality, partly because I never want to think about it, but I’ not sure if I’m philophobic or just aromantic, asexual and nervous.

I have had problems in the past because I put others before me to the extent that I forget to care for myself, or make my voice heard. I am so used to listening to my friends at school that they forget I am there and ignore me. nobody listens to my opinion, so now I’ve been given the option to speak, I don’t know what to say.

I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, and I don’t even know who I’m attracted to. That or I may be aromantic and asexual, but I’ll just end up being excluded by my (very few) friends as they grow up and have relationships of their own.

Any advice?

Leave a Comment

I can’t breathe now.

So I have this boyfriend I’m dating now. It’s my third. After like 2 failed relationships this past 6 months I am really exhausted. Now I just assume everyone in my life is gonna leave me soon, which is probably true.

Sometimes I wish I could just not fall in love so deeply but then I just uncontrollably fall in love. And then I would cry alone at night just because the thought of him leaving me for someone else. Like even though he treated me well and nice and do everything.

So then his friend, A, come along and we become a trio that is so awkward. I just can’t let go the fear that he’s gonna dump me for A and I’ll just literally panic every waking minute.

And A is this fuckboy that is flirting with everyone. And my boyfriend would just simply tell him everything about us. Our sex, our things, even my private stuff. Like I don’t mind A knowing, but I feel like he is trying to prove something or earn something from A, which made me feel very inadequate and exposed.

And then I also have this weird attraction to A and then my boyfriend don’t seem to mind at all, and I’m constantly battling in every forefront trying to figure out what I’m feeling, what he’s feeling and what’s A up to.

So I finally gave in. I knew they wanted a threesome. I actually don’t mind having sex with A. But the thought of my boyfriend making out with A in front of me is horrific.

And then I went there. I saw it. I saw A fuck my boyfriend. Now everything is shattered even though I fully expected it to happen. Even though I know even not for A, sooner or later he is going to leave me for someone else.

So I just sit there and watched. And i have to hold back my tears and tough it through. And I went home. I cried for like an hour.

No one texted me. No one ask if I’m ok. No one cares. And I’m here sitting alone.

Why do I feel like this. Even though I anticipated this to happen, maybe I just didn’t think it would come this quick. Now I self-loathe and can’t sleep and can’t stop thinking about it and I just can’t breathe.

I’m scared to love him anymore. I’m scared to love anyone anymore. Now I can’t even talk to any of my friends thinking when are they gonna leave me one by one. I really don’t know what to do.

Leave a Comment

Shelly’s guide to overthinking

Hi everyone! My name is Shelly and I think the root of my philophobia comes from overthinking a hell of a lot! Everytime I start to like a guy, since I’ve never been in a relationship, I wonder if he’s the right one?

I have a “List” of criteria my future boyfriend should meet, and even though I’m sure it’s gonna be hard to find the perfect guy, I can never be sure if I should just take the chance or not… some say that you may have to get your heart broken a lot of times before you can find someone to make it whole again, (as cheesy as that sounds) , but i’ve heard a lot of stories of people lasting the first time their entire lives, but then I question, although I would be happy… perhaps I would wonder what I missed out on. What could have happened?

But then again, if I take a chance a lot of times, could one chance end so badly that it gives me a worse case of philophobia then I already have, and I end up never wanting to fall in love again?

My friends tell me I should take a chance, but like a lot of things I’ve overthought in life, I would overthink it so much that I would regret it by the end of the day, so I’m sure very unsure.

Then I wonder… what if I don’t date at all? Of course it’s a longshot, but when I get older I want to become an actress, so I wonder if the fact of my philophobia and that I have never dated could give me a uniqueness? … and perhaps I could have a chance with the other celebrities that I would have been crushing on since 13 years old…

Again, to reiterate, clearly I do overthink this stuff. My friend Eliza told me to go see a therapist or something, and from the other stories on this page, I think that might be a good idea. Thanks everyone for listening, and if you have any solutions or need anyone to talk to about this, even though I haven’t gotten over my philophobia, I think it’s always nice to talk to someone about it, and get it off your chest.

1 Comment