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Philophobia Posts

My Philophobia

So I’ve noticed there’s barely anything about philophobia on the internet! I didn’t know I had it until recently, when I developed my first crush. I’m in the 8th grade and I’ve never been in a relationship (or had feelings!) I told my friends about my crush and I think he might know.

My philophobia was never really a problem but recently the fear of him finding out I like him, or the fear of him laughing me in the face for it, or anything like that, is scaring me so bad I find it hard to even be around him.

I love, hate, and am scared of him all at the same time. I had convinced myself that he liked me back, even though I’ve never had any intentions of having a relationship, until today. Long story short he called me some names, I complained about it to my friends later, and realized he heard EVERYTHING (because he just so happened to be walking right next to us.)

Other things happened to but it’s really starting to mess up my life and I only have one class with him (but with my luck I sit right next to him) and it’s really hard to even look at him anymore.

After today I feel if he as so much acknowledges I exist I will have a breakdown right there in the middle of class.

Philophobia isn’t registered as a mental disorder and there’s practically nothing about it online!!! I really want this to go away it’s getting really bad! (I’ve already had 4+ breakdowns over it.)

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Scared to open up to someone

Hi I’m 14 and I always thought that maybe the reason why I didn’t want to fall in love was because I thought I was to independent to depend on someone but later I realized I was scared to try and open up to someone.

My parents also had some issues a few years back and my mom would clearly tell to not fall in love. I guess I never forgot about that and now I can’t talk to guys because I’m scared of catching feelings for one.

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I hate running for the hills but I can’t help it

I am going to turn 22 in one day and I have never had a stable relationship! All of this because I overthink a lot — all this is because I think all men are the same.

When I was young I had an…experience by my brother. I was terrified a lot, and then the walls started to build up. I thought if my brother could do that to me, why not others?

I really don’t want to brag about any thing but I think most men just lust for me and don’t really like me. I have experienced that a lot, meaning that no man that have come into my life has actually liked me for who I am rather than just what I have.

I have tried once to like a guy but at the end he actually just didn’t like me. It’s true that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince, but in the real sense, the more I kiss a frog the more I build walls around me.

I am insecure, I agree on that. I don’t think I am good enough for anyone, but don’t I deserve love too? Maybe not.

I just hope I stay clear of men from now on because from judging my friends’ relationships I don’t think I can deal with men. NO I CAN’T

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Wake up

You just need to start loving yourself. Love can’t be in a person as you think, it isn’t about to be philophobia or get crazy for being alone, this life lesson is about enjoying your own company and sharing your love first with yourself, then all will come. When you start to feel comfortable with your own company, you really wont think like this ever again.

I mean stop searching for anyone who love you, and start to be in yourself relationship, its like your own boyfriend, girlfriend.

Keep smiling

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I feel this all the time. I think about telling someone about my feelings, or when someone asks me and I freak out. I never get close to anyone. I’m afraid to do so. I don’t go to people to talk about my problems, I prefer to do them on my own. If I had a bad day, or if I want to get things off my chest I can never do so.

My fear has always stopped me. To have people leave me when I told them everything and they couldn’t bare it, or if they don’t want to be apart of it. i know I have this, but I need to get over it. I want love, but I’m terrified of the outcome. To be in love you have to know the person, you have to know how they feel, what they feel. You have to trust each other, tell each other things.

But I fear that when or if I do, they will just leave and see me as a lost cause.

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So I’m not crazy.. Sweet.

I was in a terrible relationship for many years with a person who had no idea about the value of my worth. Once I left him, I immediately began a relationship with a man who saw my worth instantly. I think I was just in need of the feeling of validation.

Once I was able to see myself in the reflection of his perspective, I gained my own. And then I was ecstatic at the thought of being single again, once I had been proven right that I was a beautiful person, inside and out; and I had only made the mistake of staying so long with someone who had made me question it in the first place.

The guy who valued me wanted to be with me; and was ready to start a new life with me, and I thought I was ready to reciprocate, but then, very swiftly, my feelings for him began to dissipate.

My first thought was maybe we moved too fast, and I was afraid he would lose interest.. But it was I who had realized that I never wanted to lose my eternal solitude; though I believed he was right for me in every way.

I started feeling like being with him would be like forcing myself to live in a tiny box, even though he never once gave me the impression that i could not be myself with him. I love myself, I’ve found myself, but don’t want to subject myself to any more close relationships; not even friends, which I don’t have many of.

I’m grateful for any help I receive from loved ones, but I absolutely despise dependency on another person. I’d rather die than feel like a burden.

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