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A year-after update — Was it really worth it?

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This is not necessarily a story, but a message.

About a year has passed since I last visited this page, posting that terribly written but tragically true memory, Even getting too close to family makes me feel uneasy.

Oh, did I have it in for me.. Forcing that relationship upon me, just to get a taste of what everyone else found so natural, for the first-hand experience of it.. It was only the beginning. And I saw it all, predicting every detail, down to the core.. but still went through. I often really wonder why. It was a learning experience, no doubt, but for all the trouble I caused.. Was it really worth it? ..It was, and it wasn’t.

Things grew far worst. I unintentionally ensured that things became terribly worst.. I thought I was broken then, well, goodness me, did I push myself distinctly too far. It didn’t help that my “boyfriend” at the time became really quite opposite in the manner of affection.. Tragic. And painful. But true.

I’m comfortable being alone, and I’m productive that way. What’s the harm. I don’t need others, anyway. And not everybody does. I will survive by other means. And so I will remain. I will not allow myself to be fall at loss.

To the point: I see that the link entitled, “Psychology of Philophobia” remains unmarked. I have done quite a bit of research on this my entire life, particularly in the last few months, and what I believe to have found may be the answer to that subject, if willing to embrace it.

What we are looking at here are two primary Sexual and Gender disorders of “Abnormal” Psychology: Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Sexual Aversion Disorder. Both are vaguely unique in their own chain of symptoms and behaviors, but both carry the capability of producing individual features of the acclaimed “Philophobia” I have experienced myself, seen in others, read in articles, and seen explained on this site. Do a bit of research on both, and you may then have the starting point of your “Psychology of Philophobia.”

Good luck to you, and may you spread the word.

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