I knew about philophobia for quite some time now, I would have never thought to myself in a thousand years that I might have it. The more and more that I think about it and look back on all of my relationships, I can see it more clearly.
My first serious relationship lasted the cause of about eleven months and about the time that I had starting feeling very strangely towards my opposite it was about nine or ten months. We were telling each other that we loved on another very often. But as soon as she ever hinted upon marriage or children I would just clam up and tell her that I would have to go.
My second serious relationship lasted a little shorter than the previous one, and the same thing had happened to me as the last time. I had to leave that relationship because I was afraid of being constricted by her, that that was my only option.
Now, the relationship that I am in currently I am only in about 5 months, and I’m getting afraid of even the aspect of her being the only person to love me.
You see, I’m in a horrible conundrum, I’m afraid of love, and I’m afraid of not being in love. I just need someone to tell me if I’m crazy or if I’m actually afraid to be loved.