I love to be loved, (I mean my poetry stage name is Azrael Lucy PHILO) except when it comes to…”love”. As soon as I get the feeling that things are getting to serious I run.
Usually I blame this on my zodiac sign — Gemini. However I have theories of how it all started. Picture it, losing your grandfather and locking away emotions so you don’t get hurt again.
Though the truth is I love guys, just not relationships. I soon diagnosed myself with philophobia. It was ironic how I wished Mr. Darcy would come walking my way, the rising sun on his back, and he would say “You have bewitched me body and soul…” you get the point. As Mr.Darcy is bearing his heart to me I get nervous and I say “I can’t“. WTF?
I want that feeling though, to be fulfilled by another person and not have that fear of pushing them away. When it comes down to it, the cycle is “please love me, and then go away“. Love and I just share a love-hate relationship.