I’m 26yrs old, somewhat philophobic. Never been in a relationship, but a few months ago I fell in limerence with a girl who fit all I seek from a dream person.
I confessed, she accepted it, and we became a couple. However, only after 3 weeks .. something happened between the girl and her ex, she then start giving me silent treatment, in the pretext of needing space. However, due to limerence, I became really attached and persistent to get her to tell me whats happening. As days went by without contact, I start becoming upset, and my philophobia kicks in that I started being persistent asking whether she’s dumping me.
Unknown to me, all my actions start pushing her away, made her angry.
Finally I let her go myself as I could not stand the heartbreak feeling. Broke up with her through facebook because of lack of ways to contact her -> she ignored my PM, turned off her phone, etc.
Now everything destroyed .. and after postmortem on what I’ve done, its clear that 90% of fault lies on me, due to inability to be calm.
Not sure if we’ll ever be friends again. I’ve did so many wrong stuff to her. The guilt and the trauma seeing how much damage I did I think now increases my philophobia.
I guess I’m way too comfortable being alone that when a challenge happen in a relationship, I ended up trying destroying the relationship to protect myself.