I’m 23. Ive pushed away every single person that has tried to be with me, regardless of the quality of the relationship. I don’t know how to stop this and every time I start a new relationship I can’t bear the stomach aches and I feel as if I was going to vomit. I cant sleep for days and I cry a lot.
Of course, guys don’t understand what is happening to me, and I have never been able to explain any of it, so they end up freaking out and I end up thinking that I have some mental issue and run away.
I’d like this to stop. I’d like to know what love feels like. I have let go of so many precious people because of this, I’ve hurt so many people without wanting to because i just can’t. I can’t fall in love. Not even when I try my best.