I’m so sorry that I began to fall for you (a bit less graceful than you did for me.) I’m sorry that you repulsed me. I’m sorry that I don’t have any answers and that maybe you’ll never understand or forgive me. I’m sorry that I’ve ruined every relationship I’ve tried to had.
That one night when I saw you looking at me completely lovesick made me want to punch you. I hate that I felt that way. I hate that I only let myself love you when it was obviously too late.
I don’t know why I can’t stand being loved- I haven’t had a traumatic childhood. I have had death of loved one but this pattern started before that. I wish you could understand.
I wish I could too. I wish I could move on from whatever this is and we’d be happy again and continue to make art together.
Are there answers and is there a way out?