It was never my plan to fall for him. He was just my best guy friend. He was always there when I needed him. He was my anchor when I’m drowning. He was the only person I could talk to about anything and never get bored. I was happy for what we have. I didn’t want us to be more than best friends.
But he made me fall in love with him and then he end up breaking my heart. He made me believe that he was feeling the same way. He kissed me, he held my hands, he told me about his good intentions. My mom never wanted me to have a romantic relationship with him because he’s a college drop out and he doesn’t seem to have any dream of his own or plans for his future. But he told me he’ll look for a job. He told me he wanted to be the good guy who’s worthy of me. We were in a roller coaster kind of relationship. We never labeled anything and I never asked. We cuddled, we laughed, we fought and we made up. I was okay with all that.
But then, one day I found out, he slept with our other best friend. And you know what hurt the most? It’s because that best friend he slept with is not a girl but a guy too. Well, he’s gay. He dresses like a girl sometimes. It’s been a year since I found out about that but I can’t still seem to move on. I want to so bad. But I can still remember the pain of what they did stab me every time I recall all our memories. Because I realized, he never liked me. He never took me seriously because I was not his type. He used me as a front – to cover up his true identity. I know he’s gay too. He wouldn’t have slept with a homosexual if he wasn’t a homosexual as well, would he?
Now I don’t know if I’ll ever open up again to anybody again. It’s just that when you get hurt, you lose trust and you lose yourself as well. I am just so sad of getting hurt over and over again. Please help me guys. I need to know your thoughts. 🙁