We met at a club one night, he asked for my number and 5 days later we started dating out of his will.
He’s a pretty hot 26 years old guy and had many problems in his family (both his mum and grandma left their families to start a new life with new men) and even in his career (doesn’t have a degree and keeps chasing after jobs, his contract finished last week and he’s now jobless), not to say that he’s had a heroin addiction from which he’s now over. He’s never been into a relationship for more than 2 months and sometimes had crazy relationships with women a lot older than him (just to say they that were failed to end).
All of this now makes me think that he’s a philophobic.
From the beginning I was SO into him, he’s so sensitive and I never had such a deep connection with someone just by talking… All the times that I used to show him my love out of nothing, like hugging him out of the blue, or looking at him in the most lovely way… he used to tell “You scare me so much”.
But from the beginning I could sense his fears, showing up in a rather cold and detached way of dealing with our story, I knew it may have been because of all his troubles and deep insecurities, but that made me grow insecure about him too… I’ve tried to leave him 3 times, because of this detachment that I read as “not caring” and every time he came back to me…
After a weekend in which I disappointed him because stayed out too long with a bunch of male friends we met on Sunday and it was the first time he couldn’t reach an erection with me. The day after, on Monday, I went out with a friend of mine for a beer, and he was in the same bar with his friends, I saw him inside and decided to change bar without saying hi to him (he’s always showed a subtle but strong jealousy for what I do and with whom and didn’t want to make him jealous again), but his friends saw me and told him and since that he didn’t contact me for 3 days, without replying my texts.
I know I’ve been having an ambiguous attitude but I never did anything that could hurt him and I’ve always been honest to him about where I was and what I did and with whom (both the weekend and on Monday I told him everything and texted him after the bar saying I went out for a beer with a friend).
So on Wednesday he agrees to meet me and he tells me he can’t be with me anymore, he doesn’t like me anymore and we have to break up or become a couple in an open relationship, since he’s willing to meet with other girls and doesn’t want to feel bad anymore because of me. I went on explaining that I have many male friends and that all those friends have no place in my heart for me because now there’s only him, I told him I couldn’t open the relationship because thinking about him with other people would kill me.. and it wouldn’t be respectful for our feelings. He agreed and we decided not to see each other again… but all of this made me feel so guilty for my attitudes and I couldn’t lose him because of such frivolous motives…
I’ve kept sending him loving messages all over the last 3 days, we met again every day in the last 3 days just to talk.. I confessed him how much he’s important to me and made him some little presents to show I was sorry. He thanked me but said he’s not into me anymore, he wants to see new people and doesn’t want to feel caged into a relationship.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like I’m pressing him too much if I keep texting, I even showed up at his place last night just to hug him and we ended up kissing, but then he repeated the same things…
I don’t know what to do anymore, I think I should show him my love as much as I can but in the same time I don’t wanna make him run away for this pressing manners….
What should I do?