I don’t know why, but whenever I end up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend, something goes wrong. And it’s always me. I always run away. I run away from the love they give, the things they say. I don’t understand why I do this, but I hate it. I mean..my first boyfriend is telling me he loves me. We broke up because of me..because of my insecurities about relationships and whatever else…I still love him. I do. But I’m afraid that if we try things out again, I’ll just run away like I did before and I don’t want to do that, because that’ll just hurt him even more and I absolutely hate hurting people.
I just don’t know what to do. I want to be able to be in a long term relationship, but I’m just so terrified of actually being loved and being happy. I wish I could make something work. I wish I could change..I just don’t know how.