I’ve grown to resent feelings. I used to struggle to control them. But now I resent them because people use them to so easily control you.
I can’t date anymore, I just panic. I can’t even feel much anymore, and I’ve tried. I thought I had feelings for my friend so I told him. A week later I felt blank and empty, like the feelings I had just disappeared into thin air.
I can’t seem to hold onto feelings like that anymore for anyone. But for the short time I felt something, it was a good feeling. I felt kind of like I used to, before a lot of things happened.
I am actually so disappointed. I thought I was making progress and getting to be like my old self again and it just ripped out from underneath me. I was trying really hard to connect and it just shorted out.