I have always been a commitment guy. I was in a relationship for 4 years with a girl that I was sure was going to be the one for me for life. We lived together, shared many ups and downs and thought our love would get us through anything. I was wrong. I caught her cheating on me (in the act) with a male “friend” that I always had concerns about but she always told me not to worry, and I was paranoid. I barely made it through the aftermath, and that was when I just figured that I would much rather be single than go through that emotional turmoil ever again.
A few years later I met a great girl. She pursued me and knew the history of the past relationship and did not care. She just wanted to be with me. I was good to her but was not the easiest to be with and she tried so hard, but she wanted commitment, which I was giving her but just could not come to terms to say it, she wanted it all, to live together, marriage, kids, the same thing I wanted but the fear of losing her was holding me back from giving her all those things even though I wanted it all too. Now she is gone and it kills me and I just want her back, she was a sweetheart, and I want to give her the world. I hate myself for not coming to grips with everything sooner. She was my pumpkin and I love her and miss her and just want to make it all right again. I miss her so much.