I dont know if I’m philophobic or not. Just lately I have been thinking that there is something wrong with me because I have never had a boyfriend.
My family always make me feel like I have no friends because I don’t have much of a social life. My brothers and sisters are in relationships and I always look like the odd one out and it makes me feel pressured into getting into a relationship.
But the thing is that I am not comfortable about being in a relationship. 2 years ago I got asked out by someone that lived a couple of hours drive away. I said no because he lived too far away, but we still talked as friends on facebook, I was comfortable talking to him like this but then he told me he loved me and it started to scare me. I didn’t talk to him much and then he tried to ring me, I was just so freaked out which sounds really silly as its not even face to face!
Also a couple of months ago, a guy asked me to go round his house, I knew that he already liked me but I felt pressured into going. I was so scared to go round but when I was there I was fine, as if we were just friends but as I left he gave me a hug, now I know this sounds really silly but its just because I knew he liked me and we were just getting too close and I hated it. Whenever he tried to get in touch with me I just ignored him because I was so scared of speaking to him or even seeing him in he street.
It just sounds so weird like if anybody wants to meet up with me I just get so scared because I don’t want to get too close to them. It’s just complicated though because I don’t like to think of being alone for the rest of my life, but I just can’t be in a relationship.