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Scared to open up to true love

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Two failed marriages, used and abused by both. Three beautiful children to show for it. But love don’t live here anymore. I refuse to expose myself so that some ignorant man can break my heart. I was born a very caring, generous, loving sensitive woman. Several potential opportunities have presented themselves. I love the attention, the dates, feeling like a beautiful woman. I often cry for companionship, love, a good man. So then why is it when a fine suitor presents himself, I go with the flow for a short while and as soon as it gets that love look in his eyes, I panic and run? They eventually give up on me and it succumbs. I’m back crying and lonely, once again.

But then remember my married lover. He’s been here for me through it all. He always knows how to cheer me and make me smile. I feel I am the most beautiful flower. He has never failed to please me. But he is 2000 miles away and often unavailable. But I’ll take whatever time he can spare.

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