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Becuz of him… I could never love again

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Despite, that he took my virginity, emotionally abuse me, had a new girlfriend and still had ex-sex with me. I still yearn for him.
Sex was the thing that held us together. Maybe during the four years of holding on, I tried many attempts of getting over that’s why it caused him to drift apart from me? Maybe cuz I hurt him too and I didn’t know?

But I came to realise now he could never love me as much as I love him. I’m scared of going through the pain that I held on for 4 years. Thus, cuz of him I couldn’t fall for anyone. To boys who tried to get me I would simply reject them at the end of day.

So I’m pretty sure, I fear of falling in love. If he ever come back, the chances of him cheating on me with another is quite high cuz he cheated on his gf and had sex with me. Sigh…

GUYS ARE DOUCHEBAGS. They just wanna get in your pants. X(

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