I’m an 18 year old girl and I grew up in a dysfunctional family. At the age of 14 my parents had a divorce, and at age 15 I had my first significant breakup. The divorce was really traumatic since both of my parents have mental issues and they didn’t know how to handle the situation appropiately with me. My first “boyfriend” turned out to be a liar, a cheater and a sexual predator. This caused me to avoid close contact until this day. If a friend turns out to like me, I run away. If I suspect a guy is starting to like me, I scare him away. I have literal FEAR of physical/romantic contact. I haven’t dated for three years. I feel frustrated, alone, and empty. My solution? Platonic love. I’ve been obsessed with guys that I know will NEVER like me or even know I exist. (e.g. Joe Jonas)
My biggest fear is to someday look back and feel like I wasted my life. I’d love to be in a relationship, but this fear is almost too big to face.