Whenever anything vaguely related to relationships happens, I actually go into a state of shock. I start shaking really violently and I get all dizzy. I have asked my sister about this and she doesn’t get this problem. I am starting to get worried. One time I hugged this boy and for the next hour I was shaking so badly that when it came to dinner time all my food fell on the floor :L
For the moment I have been avoiding relationships but it can make me feel lonely and occasionally depressed. Most of the time I am happy by myself but then I see other couples and wander if I will ever be able to stand having a relationship.
I tried having a relationship once. It didn’t go well, technically I could of had the boy arrested but I didn’t want to ruin his life. I keep thinking that maybe this is why I am scared to enter into a relationship. However I had the problem with him too, just not as bad.
I don’t know if any of this is normal, but I would really like some advice on how to deal with it. I don’t want to end up old, alone and unloved for the rest of my life simply because I can’t hold someones hand. I don’t even know if it is philophobia, or that much about what happens to me. Please help.