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Category: Female philophobia stories

Scared to open up to someone

Hi I’m 14 and I always thought that maybe the reason why I didn’t want to fall in love was because I thought I was to independent to depend on someone but later I realized I was scared to try and open up to someone.

My parents also had some issues a few years back and my mom would clearly tell to not fall in love. I guess I never forgot about that and now I can’t talk to guys because I’m scared of catching feelings for one.

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I hate running for the hills but I can’t help it

I am going to turn 22 in one day and I have never had a stable relationship! All of this because I overthink a lot — all this is because I think all men are the same.

When I was young I had an…experience by my brother. I was terrified a lot, and then the walls started to build up. I thought if my brother could do that to me, why not others?

I really don’t want to brag about any thing but I think most men just lust for me and don’t really like me. I have experienced that a lot, meaning that no man that have come into my life has actually liked me for who I am rather than just what I have.

I have tried once to like a guy but at the end he actually just didn’t like me. It’s true that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince, but in the real sense, the more I kiss a frog the more I build walls around me.

I am insecure, I agree on that. I don’t think I am good enough for anyone, but don’t I deserve love too? Maybe not.

I just hope I stay clear of men from now on because from judging my friends’ relationships I don’t think I can deal with men. NO I CAN’T

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So I’m not crazy.. Sweet.

I was in a terrible relationship for many years with a person who had no idea about the value of my worth. Once I left him, I immediately began a relationship with a man who saw my worth instantly. I think I was just in need of the feeling of validation.

Once I was able to see myself in the reflection of his perspective, I gained my own. And then I was ecstatic at the thought of being single again, once I had been proven right that I was a beautiful person, inside and out; and I had only made the mistake of staying so long with someone who had made me question it in the first place.

The guy who valued me wanted to be with me; and was ready to start a new life with me, and I thought I was ready to reciprocate, but then, very swiftly, my feelings for him began to dissipate.

My first thought was maybe we moved too fast, and I was afraid he would lose interest.. But it was I who had realized that I never wanted to lose my eternal solitude; though I believed he was right for me in every way.

I started feeling like being with him would be like forcing myself to live in a tiny box, even though he never once gave me the impression that i could not be myself with him. I love myself, I’ve found myself, but don’t want to subject myself to any more close relationships; not even friends, which I don’t have many of.

I’m grateful for any help I receive from loved ones, but I absolutely despise dependency on another person. I’d rather die than feel like a burden.

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New here- am I philophobic or is it something else?

I should probably be doing my maths homework right now, but I am a 14 y/o female, my friend is also female and she has asked me out. I have never really experienced amorous thoughts towards anyone, and the thought of this relationship terrifies me. I don’t know myself enough to know my own sexuality, partly because I never want to think about it, but I’ not sure if I’m philophobic or just aromantic, asexual and nervous.

I have had problems in the past because I put others before me to the extent that I forget to care for myself, or make my voice heard. I am so used to listening to my friends at school that they forget I am there and ignore me. nobody listens to my opinion, so now I’ve been given the option to speak, I don’t know what to say.

I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, and I don’t even know who I’m attracted to. That or I may be aromantic and asexual, but I’ll just end up being excluded by my (very few) friends as they grow up and have relationships of their own.

Any advice?

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Shelly’s guide to overthinking

Hi everyone! My name is Shelly and I think the root of my philophobia comes from overthinking a hell of a lot! Everytime I start to like a guy, since I’ve never been in a relationship, I wonder if he’s the right one?

I have a “List” of criteria my future boyfriend should meet, and even though I’m sure it’s gonna be hard to find the perfect guy, I can never be sure if I should just take the chance or not… some say that you may have to get your heart broken a lot of times before you can find someone to make it whole again, (as cheesy as that sounds) , but i’ve heard a lot of stories of people lasting the first time their entire lives, but then I question, although I would be happy… perhaps I would wonder what I missed out on. What could have happened?

But then again, if I take a chance a lot of times, could one chance end so badly that it gives me a worse case of philophobia then I already have, and I end up never wanting to fall in love again?

My friends tell me I should take a chance, but like a lot of things I’ve overthought in life, I would overthink it so much that I would regret it by the end of the day, so I’m sure very unsure.

Then I wonder… what if I don’t date at all? Of course it’s a longshot, but when I get older I want to become an actress, so I wonder if the fact of my philophobia and that I have never dated could give me a uniqueness? … and perhaps I could have a chance with the other celebrities that I would have been crushing on since 13 years old…

Again, to reiterate, clearly I do overthink this stuff. My friend Eliza told me to go see a therapist or something, and from the other stories on this page, I think that might be a good idea. Thanks everyone for listening, and if you have any solutions or need anyone to talk to about this, even though I haven’t gotten over my philophobia, I think it’s always nice to talk to someone about it, and get it off your chest.

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