So I’ve noticed there’s barely anything about philophobia on the internet! I didn’t know I had it until recently, when I developed my first crush. I’m in the 8th grade and I’ve never been in a relationship (or had feelings!) I told my friends about my crush and I think he might know.
My philophobia was never really a problem but recently the fear of him finding out I like him, or the fear of him laughing me in the face for it, or anything like that, is scaring me so bad I find it hard to even be around him.
I love, hate, and am scared of him all at the same time. I had convinced myself that he liked me back, even though I’ve never had any intentions of having a relationship, until today. Long story short he called me some names, I complained about it to my friends later, and realized he heard EVERYTHING (because he just so happened to be walking right next to us.)
Other things happened to but it’s really starting to mess up my life and I only have one class with him (but with my luck I sit right next to him) and it’s really hard to even look at him anymore.
After today I feel if he as so much acknowledges I exist I will have a breakdown right there in the middle of class.
Philophobia isn’t registered as a mental disorder and there’s practically nothing about it online!!! I really want this to go away it’s getting really bad! (I’ve already had 4+ breakdowns over it.)