Philophobia Posts

Hi everyone! My name is Shelly and I think the root of my philophobia comes from overthinking a hell of a lot! Everytime I start to like a guy, since I’ve never been in a relationship, I wonder if he’s the right one?

I have a “List” of criteria my future boyfriend should meet, and even though I’m sure it’s gonna be hard to find the perfect guy, I can never be sure if I should just take the chance or not… some say that you may have to get your heart broken a lot of times before you can find someone to make it whole again, (as cheesy as that sounds) , but i’ve heard a lot of stories of people lasting the first time their entire lives, but then I question, although I would be happy… perhaps I would wonder what I missed out on. What could have happened?

But then again, if I take a chance a lot of times, could one chance end so badly that it gives me a worse case of philophobia then I already have, and I end up never wanting to fall in love again?

My friends tell me I should take a chance, but like a lot of things I’ve overthought in life, I would overthink it so much that I would regret it by the end of the day, so I’m sure very unsure.

Then I wonder… what if I don’t date at all? Of course it’s a longshot, but when I get older I want to become an actress, so I wonder if the fact of my philophobia and that I have never dated could give me a uniqueness? … and perhaps I could have a chance with the other celebrities that I would have been crushing on since 13 years old…

Again, to reiterate, clearly I do overthink this stuff. My friend Eliza told me to go see a therapist or something, and from the other stories on this page, I think that might be a good idea. Thanks everyone for listening, and if you have any solutions or need anyone to talk to about this, even though I haven’t gotten over my philophobia, I think it’s always nice to talk to someone about it, and get it off your chest.

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[deleted due to request from submitter] 5 Comments

I always had difficulty dealing with people since childhood…when i got to university, i met a boy, he for cared me so much…and we were best friends for 3 months.. Then we become lovers..It lasted for 3 to 4 years.. Since it’s hard for to stay close to people, I loved him a lot…he was like the only one in my world..

However people said me he was not good enough, i always saw in him the best…but for him, a girl like me, who has few friends and who is not warm, is not a girl who will make him happy..

After dating for 1 and 1/2 years, i cut all my hair for religious good deeds and i become ugly…and i used to think he don’t want to go out with me since i got ugly..i trusted that he want to stay away from me and i also tried to stay away from him…we had to take a trip for surveys of university and he didn’t choose to take this trip with me..where we can choose our partners…This hurt me a lot because i thought he don’t want me as i was ugly…but i hated to lose him…

but as i got depressed, i was making him problems every day…we were angry and didn’t talk like 5-6 months but then i apologized to him bcoz i didn’t want to lose him..I called him back but still believing he didn’t love me anymore..but next 6 months, i started the fights and we didn’t talk llike another 6 months…I was very confused…i really hated that situation…

we r in the same class ,same course..hiw can he and me can stay without talking for such a long time…i sent him a break up msg and 1 month later, he got a younger and prettier girlfriend…i feel so hurt…it was and it is not easy for me to forget him…i have plans for us the whole life…i can’t love a new one…and i m afraid of love…i thought him as a life long partner but how can he leave me like this without even talking well…i have to see him every day as a classmate..and it hurts me every day …

I loved him a lot so that i never imagine the life without him…he hurt me…i don’t want to fall in love again…I am from Myanmar and both of us are on the way to doctors..i cry every day though he can be happy with his new gf without a proper goodbye to me..yeah…

He wins :-/…i lost everything..

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I really love reading books and watching shows about sweet and sappy love lives. But along the way when something heartbreaking happens, I feel it affect me in a way that tugs at my heart.

And a while back, there was this one guy I liked in a class we had together. He was super cool and when my feelings were just blooming for him, I heard he had hooked up with another girl in our class, and that girl was DATING a guy I grew up with.

I felt so bad for her boyfriend, who was probably unaware of it at the time. I guess it hurt me too. I began to hesitate at relationship opportunities in front of me because I knew I’d be cheated on, dumped, abandoned- I’d get scared my s/o would stop loving me and break what’s already pretty fragile.

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I think I may be philophobic. I really like the idea of a relationship and I’ve had my fair share of crushes and whatnot, but one time I was confronted by a guy I liked at the time (he kind of but not really liked me too) and he asked “So is something going to happen out of this?” And I immediately got scared and refused to talk to him for weeks.

I yearn for a relationship, yet when given the opportunity I run for the hills. Even now I’m avoiding getting feelings for anyone now because I really don’t want to repeat this

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