Philophobia Posts

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I always had difficulty dealing with people since childhood…when i got to university, i met a boy, he for cared me so much…and we were best friends for 3 months.. Then we become lovers..It lasted for 3 to 4 years.. Since it’s hard for to stay close to people, I loved him a lot…he was like the only one in my world..

However people said me he was not good enough, i always saw in him the best…but for him, a girl like me, who has few friends and who is not warm, is not a girl who will make him happy..

After dating for 1 and 1/2 years, i cut all my hair for religious good deeds and i become ugly…and i used to think he don’t want to go out with me since i got ugly..i trusted that he want to stay away from me and i also tried to stay away from him…we had to take a trip for surveys of university and he didn’t choose to take this trip with me..where we can choose our partners…This hurt me a lot because i thought he don’t want me as i was ugly…but i hated to lose him…

but as i got depressed, i was making him problems every day…we were angry and didn’t talk like 5-6 months but then i apologized to him bcoz i didn’t want to lose him..I called him back but still believing he didn’t love me anymore..but next 6 months, i started the fights and we didn’t talk llike another 6 months…I was very confused…i really hated that situation…

we r in the same class ,same course..hiw can he and me can stay without talking for such a long time…i sent him a break up msg and 1 month later, he got a younger and prettier girlfriend…i feel so hurt…it was and it is not easy for me to forget him…i have plans for us the whole life…i can’t love a new one…and i m afraid of love…i thought him as a life long partner but how can he leave me like this without even talking well…i have to see him every day as a classmate..and it hurts me every day …

I loved him a lot so that i never imagine the life without him…he hurt me…i don’t want to fall in love again…I am from Myanmar and both of us are on the way to doctors..i cry every day though he can be happy with his new gf without a proper goodbye to me..yeah…

He wins :-/…i lost everything..

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I really love reading books and watching shows about sweet and sappy love lives. But along the way when something heartbreaking happens, I feel it affect me in a way that tugs at my heart.

And a while back, there was this one guy I liked in a class we had together. He was super cool and when my feelings were just blooming for him, I heard he had hooked up with another girl in our class, and that girl was DATING a guy I grew up with.

I felt so bad for her boyfriend, who was probably unaware of it at the time. I guess it hurt me too. I began to hesitate at relationship opportunities in front of me because I knew I’d be cheated on, dumped, abandoned- I’d get scared my s/o would stop loving me and break what’s already pretty fragile.

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I think I may be philophobic. I really like the idea of a relationship and I’ve had my fair share of crushes and whatnot, but one time I was confronted by a guy I liked at the time (he kind of but not really liked me too) and he asked “So is something going to happen out of this?” And I immediately got scared and refused to talk to him for weeks.

I yearn for a relationship, yet when given the opportunity I run for the hills. Even now I’m avoiding getting feelings for anyone now because I really don’t want to repeat this

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I’m 18 this year, and all i wanted on my life is to be loved… i finally got it, 4-5 months ago in the internet…. And everything fell down 2-3 weeks ago, after knowing that my internet bf cheated on me with someone who was my friend…

I can’t feel love again, or when someone tells that i should wait longer so i can feel love again, but i cant… i feel that its gonna be the same again…

I feel like shit and i don’t want to be lonely, but at the same time i’m scared of loving someone if its gonna end like this,

How i can overcome this pain and fear?

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