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What is philophobia?

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Philophobia is the fear of emotional attachment; fear of being in, or falling in love

Medical science defines philophobia as an abnormal, unwarranted and persistent fear of falling in love. Its name comes from two Greek roots, “philo” meaning love and “phobia” meaning fear of. This fear of love isn’t merely a distressing emotional condition; it can result in actual physical symptoms, and may even heighten a person’s alienation from family, friends, co-workers and neighbors.

Every human relationship requires a certain amount of emotional involvement, but people who suffer from philophobia are often unable to make this connection. Philophobics may start by avoiding close contact with members of the opposite sex, and then become so sensitized to emotional reactions that they begin to avoid all people.

In addition, philophobia produces a distinct set of physical symptoms. Philophobia symptoms can range from nervousness or restlessness in the presence of the opposite sex, to feelings of absolute dread at the prospect of meeting someone. In its most extreme cases, philophobia can cause full-blown panic attacks: sweating, irregular heartbeat, shortness of breath, nausea and an intense need to escape from the presence of the potential lover.

As with all phobias, psychiatrists and psychologists aren’t in 100% agreement on what sets off philophobia. Sometimes a person dwells on bitter memories of past relationships that didn’t go well or that ended badly, whether romantic or familial. Or the sufferer may have an intense fear of rejection and avoids relationships as a way to avoid the embarrassment of being refused by a potential lover. Others may have gone through an acrimonious divorce and be convinced that falling in love again will only lead to another painful divorce or breakup.

While these are examples of some of the experiences held in common by people who suffer from philophobia, no verified connection has been drawn between these intense episodes and the onset of the condition. What is known for sure is that people who go through bad romances or relationships are able to bounce back, while others find themselves trapped in a psychological situation that eventually keeps them separated from other people. A more thorough discussion of the causes of philophobia.

Fortunately, people who suffer from philophobia can get treatment. Counseling, behavioral therapy, and medication have all been proven to be effective phobia treatments when used well. The patient and his or her therapist must together determine which therapies are right and in which combinations. See our page about possible philophobia treatments.

Ed. note: These articles were written by a professional researcher, and not a psychologist. If you feel you can improve anything, please write in. And never take anything you read on the internet as qualified medical information.


  1. Me Me

    Wow crazy I feel this so much. The thought of someone loving me scares me and the thought of me loving them back is even worse when you love someone you rely on them and they on you. If you rely on something and you lose it it’s like losing a limb. I am fiercely self reliant and do not ever rely on one person financially emotionally or spiritually I have once and it hurt like hell when we were over even as I knew it was for the best I do not wish to be weak but wonder if there is a flaw in my personality I see no reason to be codependent when there are so many things to do and see in life why just spend them with one person. Culturally this is not how people are but I am more like a wolf I can run with a pack or alone and I like it that way. But I worry my greatest strength may be my greatest weakness

    • kim kim

      i was in love with my best friend he broke my heart … im afraid to let people in i feel weak and scard at the mear though of me falling in love again i will never let anyone hurt me again

      • Shadow of You Shadow of You

        I glad for you as now you re strong and stand to loving again.. he s the luckiest guy.. I’m proud of you for taking those steps. I’m proud of you for being you and working to rise to the best you inside of you.. Im happy for you..

      • brookelynne brookelynne

        I am a philophobian

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Reading your thoughts felt like reading myself there. I have not been through a complete relationship, before we broke apart. Now after that I feel I just can’t have anyone come so close to me. When I meet new people, it hardly takes me time to get close to them, but then like a bucket of cold water falls upon me, I withdraw. I move away so that they have no chance to get anymore closer and hurt me. I lose that person and it also upsets me but I console myself that it’s for the best and move on.

      • G. B. G. B.

        I see everything has already been said, so no need to tell my story.
        It’s a shame that people whom we ardently want in our life actually manage to leave such long-term scars.

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        That’s exactly how I feel. The moment I feel like someone’s interested in me I start avoiding them and sometimes even flee miles away literally. I have lied million times of being a relationship just to get out of a potential future relationship. I don’t know why. And recently I have indeed come to a stupid realisation that even all the men I have dated have been either foreigners or living many states away. And of course it never went for more than 1 date. It was all fine until I flawed. I started talking online to one such guy who I knew was definitely not my time. He was an asshole frankly speaking. Still is. 4 years and no matter how many times i break it to him that I just don’t want to talk to him he just wouldn’t listen. He just keeps on finding his way in my life. And all I want is solitude.

    • Ballergirl23 Ballergirl23

      I love this guy I’m 12 I’m scared of loving him cause he has hurt me before what should I do can someone help me? Please

      • Dr. Doctor Dr. Doctor

        You need to chill. You are only 12. You will find someone later on in life who is even more worth your time and energy. That little boy, he just wants to go around and mess with you. Don’t waste your time on him. Focus on school, get through high school, go to college, and then start looking for someone to get serious with. All this worry over a 12 year old boy who I GUARANTEE will NOT be in your life in 5 years. Just focus on the important things rather than another distraction. If he hurt you before, why love him again? It’s just common sense and if you get butt hurt reading this, I dont really care. I have the guts to tell you this because this is reality, Ballergirl. I understand that you might or might not have philophobia but you are only 12 YEARS OLD. Where’s the common sense in that? Come on now… Let’s be serious. (this is my own opinion. Don’t get a hard on over it.)

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        go and do your assignment

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      I feel the same way as for the top part. I recently got into a relationship and it scares me to death because i really love my boyfriend, but at the same time the past experiences nagging me wont let me just be okay. I have regular mental breakdowns as i think about how much power he has to break me and i can;t even look him in the eye because of it and its horrible.

    • Casey Casey

      I’m trying to research philophobia because I’m writing a character who has it and I want to write the phobia realistically with respect and care. I don’t know anybody who has it, so could anybody give me tips? Thanks in advance.

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        Then I think you can write my story..

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Why did I feel like I was speaking, when actually had. ???

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      I concur.

  2. I think its also the anime’s fault. making us see things in a different perspective , making us different as well.sorry still love anime.

    • Mary Mary

      Lol… Now i know why im like this xD its because watching too much anime… But i still love anime too

    • Dr. Doctor Dr. Doctor

      Yeah. Dude. It’s the anime. Hentai to it’s best.

  3. Damn how to treat this .. give your e-mail address and chat me.anyone.I’m male.

  4. Anonymous Anonymous

    wow, I am in total shock that i finally found out what is wrong with me. I dont do love at All! when I feel like I love a person I get very sick to my stomach i get bad aniexty and actually want to throw up from the thought of being in love. Once I guy i loved told me he loved me and I broke up with him. Anyone who falls in love with me I break up with because I refuse to fall in love. Causes me to feel vunerable. How do I fix this!?

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      I just read your thoughts in my opionion you need to find someone who doesn’t need to hear the word love you don’t need to express the word love overtime your feeling may allow you and the other to say the words love to me means you will do what is necessary for the other not to hurt or suffer in any way again it’s my opinion and it’s from living for 59 years what I see and what I experianced

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Same here.. is that real philophobia what im and youre experiencing or what? 🙁
      This at first didnt bother me at all i was just “ok its just maybe bcs i dont love him”
      But the same exact feeling came to me when i almost encountered little-crossed-friend-line relationships with other guys, and when the guy started to show he cared to me or behave a little bit my body reacts in a way that others find strange.. i felt nauseous and stuffs, i even panicked and (im so embarassed to say this) felt like i didnt wanna know him anymore :'(

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        Yesh!! That’s exactly it.. i’ve been wondering wht’s up since i’ve been feeling so too and only sstarted to really notice these symptons… like when i have an interest in a guy, i start to approach him and become friends then when he starts showing more care than usual or started to be interested in me too.. i juz want to avoid him and juz runnn… even though i was the one that started it all…

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        I too have the same problem but I don’t know how to react on it. Can anyone help me please??

    • Ballergirl23 Ballergirl23

      You don’t. Love is tough I love this guy but I’m afraid to get hurt I guess I just have to suck it up I’m 12 people say I’m too young to know what love is but I know what love is I’m scared of it but I love this guy and he loves me so why not hold on for the tide

  5. atleast now I know what’s wrong with me by how do I fix this

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Love yourself first and after that you realize what is the best and what you deserve

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        Yuh,it’s true before you love others love yourself first and know yourself better.

      • Pitti Pitti

        Loving yourself is as hard as kissing your own lips. Listen to: The spectrum of love by Alan Watts

  6. The real me The real me

    From an early age I had this panicking feelings inside me when it comes to love.
    Whenever I have intimate relationship with someone on the internet or real life.
    It feels like I’m always fading away,like its a bit too much for me.
    Side affects are: stomach act and fling guilt.
    So I decided to explore and drew hearts. But… I couldn’t feel any satisfaction in it.
    I do know how to love,I do know how to be loyal,but I just can’t be with someone that intimated. So thank you,I know myself better then I’ve ever had.

  7. Anonymous Anonymous


    • Anonymous Anonymous

      …Goes the weasel!

  8. i didn’t knw that i waz like this before,but now i know sins i read this ,now i know wht couses philophobia and its meaning:-)

  9. Anonymous Anonymous

    Now I understand why my ex boyfriend do these things , we have been loving each other for 1 year , but. We broke up after a months , because he had to go to USA , and I wanted to move 3 months later .
    He just arguing with me , but he told me I always been loving you ! What should I do , I love him I want to take him back ?

  10. boss princess boss princess

    i have thiis feeling that i want to take my ex-boyfriend back to me but i’m scared he might just reject me.what should i do?

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      If he reject you,so reject him also! That it means that your ex- boyfriend reject you, there’s no love at all..

  11. Anonymous Anonymous

    mine sill rejects me and i keep trying honestly

  12. Anonymous Anonymous

    Sometimes…psychology can be “mans” worst enemy.
    “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.” 1 Cor ‭2:11‬ ‭

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      God is the first person that gives us LOVE! Even though we can’t see him but he always there at our side waiting for us to call him. Through prayer we can communicate and know more what is really the true love of GOD to us.

  13. me me

    wow! i read this and now i suspect i suffer this phobia. its just i love my family and friend but never love someone beyond that. i can admire and having crush with someone, but when i know he also interested with me really scare me, and sometime it also can change my feeling from having crush to hate. its not that like i dont want, but couldnt. just having the idea loving someone other than my family and friend scare me. maybe its also anime and manga fault. hermm…. i dont know.

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Same here. I had crush on someone, once! But the thought of having serious relationship, was unbearable. I did enjoy accompany from opposite sex, but once they want to move forward or take it to the next level, I’ll cut them off. Back then I don’t understand why. I keep saying to myself that I’m not ready, but now I know..the idea of love or commitment, just..argh…
      maybe its because anime/manga fault!

  14. I'm scared I'm scared

    I’m at the age where everyone my age is falling in love and starting to have boyfriends all the time. The thought of love scared me so so so so much. I fell in love this year and I hate myself for it. I feel guilty, hate, anxious, irritated, and just….well, scared. I don’t want to feel this way, but I do. I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve told a close friend an he doesn’t know what to tell me. I’ve never been in love before. I want to cry and tell myself everything will be alright at the same time. He tells be to fight my fears, but it doesn’t work like that. I don’t know what to do anymore….I’ve given up. One I found out love is my main fear I started to accept it about found it was called Philophobia. I accept my fear, no matter how painful it is…

  15. unknown unknown

    Damn! I This is so me.

  16. max max

    I think I also have this disses coz I’m sweating when I have to approach a girl and I really need help. Where can I found it I’m starting get worried

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Your sweating because your not really in love with that girl. Your only toying her.

      • Anonymous Anonymous


  17. Anonymous Anonymous

    I have also this kind of fear. A fear of falling in love with someone, I can’t understand my feelings. One day there’s a suitor of mine,he tell me that he had crush of me then I feel nervous and irritate. Since I’m a students at that time.I thought that it can only ruin my studies. So, what I did was reject him.I feel bad of what I did at that time.And I thank god for what I have now !

  18. Scott Scott

    I definitely have this. Ive been in one relationship my whole life which was really hard for me. I cried 4 times in 3 weeks just from the emotional stress and anxiety it was causing me. In the past whenever i liked someone and they felt the same, i just couldnt be around them. Once it caused me to shake, get a headache feel nautious, and lightheaded, and one time, it turned me into a completely different person. I couldnt even talk to them.

  19. Anonymous Anonymous

    I am sure that I am not the only one who had suffered watching their parents fight, but when I was about six years old or so, I saw my father arguing with my mother at a kitchen when it was midnight. He suddenly pulled out a knife and threatened my mother. But my mother repeatedly yelled at him to stab her. After seeing this I chose not to show any interest towards others as I feared that, falling in love would result in me becoming a man I do not want to become. Anyone can disagree with me, but I do not find love as important. You can live alone and still survive.

    • Pin Pin

      I agreed with you

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      This happened with me too. I saw my mother trying to hang herself. I must have been in 3rd or 4th grade. I moved away for highschool and later got to know that my mom had been in hospital because my dad pushed her so hard against the balcony that she had to get stitches on her head. Things don’t change. And I just hate the fact that no matter what I still love both of them unconditionally. I can’t ever be in a relationship. I don’t want such love. I am 22 and never even had my first kiss.

  20. Affected Affected

    I was wondering what was wrong with me, but after I’ve read about this phobia I’m quite sure of what’s happening.

    People find me attractive so easily that I mostly end up hating myself for being open to them – of which is weird!

    I repelled from people who’ve shown great love and care towards me, I just don’t seem to welcome anyone around as I continue to declare my love for solitude.

    Look, I hurt people, from spiritual leaders through friends to women. And the following is so disturbing; my family shown up for festive season, and trust me, within just days I was pissed that they’ve intruded my company. I would wake, brush my teeth, eat breakfast and disappear from their sight. As I’m typing this, I can’t wait for them to announce their departure!

    I wish I can get help sooner as I believe this is not the way one should be living.
    I also want to be a family man and people’s man!

    Please attach me a link for help recommendations in South Africa, Pretoria. Thanks

  21. ka ka

    I feel exhausted about my feelings

  22. ka ka

    How can i love when I have nothing to give

  23. Philiphobic guy Philiphobic guy

    OMG! All of these details match my current afflictions and symptoms. I wish I never I could just live some place far away from civilization so that I never ever get close with another person.

  24. Anonymous Anonymous

    I just realized i might have philophobia when i realized the person i like might like me. I started to have a panic attack , the problem is i still have a crush on them and the counteracting feelings are driving me insane. I want a relationship but the thought of being in one scares me.

  25. Anonymous Anonymous

    My age:-16
    Last year a girl changed my life. Being 3 years younger to me, she makes me feel butterflies in my stomach everytime I see her and heart races like anything. Pleasure centres of my brain get activated upon talking with her even if it is for a minute. But the only problem is that I made a mistake. One year back, I told one of my friend about her and he leaked it in the whole friend circle. Obviously, she got to know and she felt bad that because of me she faced public embarrassment… So she didn’t talk to me for months…. And now the relation between 2 of us is a lil better but not so good and I know she will never understand the value of my feelings… But I can’t get over no matter how hard I try…. I can’t be angry at her for more than a week… And this makes me suffer from philophobia… Either God should make my pair with her or else I think I would not be able to emotionally attatch myself to anyone..
    P.S don’t go by my age… My feelings are very strong…

  26. Anonymous Anonymous

    Yep. I legit HATE myself. I’m angry and tense all the time. Lol it sucks but its comfortable and I’m too stuck to change.

  27. Mary Mary

    I’m someone who falls in love so easily but everything crumbled with my last boyfriend. He was a cheat, liar, words cannot even describe how he is. Since then, when I fall in love, I discover I want to be used and that has made me to be philophobic. The latest was the last guy I fell in love with recently. He’s been caring and since I don’t like being intimate until I’m sure of who he is, I thought he loved me the same way I love him. I was heartbroken yesterday when I saw some pictures in my colleague’s phone on how intimate they are. This has really made me to stand my ground; to be philophobic.

  28. Rita Rita

    I’m afraid of attachment even to my relatives it starts when my mom’s passed away 2 years ago .. i feel like all of them will leave me so ive decided to live alone i dont have friends i lost them because im afraid that someday they will leave me like my mom im afraid of falling inlove i feel like crazy what should i do??

  29. Anoyamas Anoyamas

    Hey not all is like this but most people fear of love and are afraid their partner going to live that is why we advoide date and girls for maters we know how to we choose not go into this subject i used to have a girl friend 3 year ago she broke up with me cuz her mom i am this way my friends say i am afraid i know their right i just don’t know how to trust Christian they both were Christian i kind of feel like i was adbandon by some Christian

  30. JC JC

    I think I’m afraid of falling in love, the last person I was in love with battled cancer and sadly to say she passed away from it. One of the hardest things I had to do was sit by her side as she passed away & there was nothing I could. My fear comes from falling in love & a chance of having to go do that again. It was extremely hard losing the one i loved especially because she was only 20 & I don’t know if I could it all again if I had to. I pushed a lot of family & friends away because they try to get me to open up.

  31. Lily Lily

    I am afraid of being close to anyone. Because I dated my best friend. He moved. And he broke my heart.

  32. Mufamadi Mashudu Mufamadi Mashudu

    Philophobia is also caused by seeing your parents fighting and then broke parent bad-mouthing the other and because the child is destroyed,she fears love and told herself not to fall in love to avoid hurting the kids and finding herself in a fight.

  33. Wow wee oo wee! Wow wee oo wee!

    yeh ‘philophobia’ is just a label. yeh, I experienced all the parent’s fightin’ stuff.
    when youre an adult, you move on. DONT let
    your past steal or take your present.
    the more I’ve lived, the more I realize I’m normal. I am nor will I ever be a victim.
    I live life now on my terms. I won’t be second to anybody.

  34. Tiky Tiky

    I have many male friends. As soon as i realized that someone have romantic feeling, i immediately cut the ties. And when i try to love someone.. people always tell me that i’m being too cold for some says i’m heartless… and now i’m 7 years single though during that time i’m dating. But never be in serious relationship. ?

  35. anonymous anonymous

    Once i loved a boy so much that it even hurted but when i had to change the school where we were ,i broke up with him because i felt that i couldnt have a distant relationship but now i regret my decision.
    we were together for about 3 years ,i had others relationships but when things were getting serious i would break up with the boy,i feel like i am lucky because all of them were kind and cared about me but i didnt love them and i didnt want to love them because i think i am not worth it, when things start to get serious i avoid them or be mean with them so they can leave me alone …
    i think i still like my ex but if someone ask me if i want to be with him again,my answer would be no.
    i would say that i just want to know that he is mine,but not physically .
    i can break a heart without regret it,people say that i mean but i think that i am a realistic one
    What’s the propose of getting in a relationship if it always ends.

  36. Anonymous Anonymous

    I really think I have philophobia…whenever I talk to a guy I like and become friends and show intrest after a few days I just avoid him and cry and I don’t even know why.. it’s just so complicated…I wake up in the morning feeling so depressed and anxious that I just want to start crying ?

  37. Bomb in my heart.... Bomb in my heart....

    I have philophobia… I notice it everytime someone asks me out, for ex. I met a guy and instantly fell for him, he asked me out that night and I said yes,of course. It was two weeks later and I started to lose feelings, I convinced myself that I still love him and so I left him. It was back to school time and I fell for another guy and I had him on my mind 24/7. I knew I was inlove, he asked me out and I said yes. We are currently still going out, but I am losing my feelings. There is someone else that is inlove with me and he was my kindergarden crush. Now I’m thinking that I should leave my boyfriend and be single for a long time, but I’m still growing… How can I ressist falling inlove with somebody and don’t have feelings. I’m 14 years old and I don’t know what to do. If I tell my mother she’ll say I’m overreacting, my father past away, my friends won’t understand, I don’t have money to go to a counsellor( my mother will anyway say no)…. What must I do???

    • Dr. Doctor Dr. Doctor

      You, little lady, are a player. You are a heart breaker. You are a hit it and/ quit it. you need to focus on school and get a degree in crying about real problems. Sorry that this had to be so brutal but it is what you need to hear. What you need to do is keep doing what you are doing because you cannot simply just say you are going to be faithful to one guy if you are always jumping around with guys. You have a specific career set for you. it’s called playing games (messing with feelings). There isn’t really any problem with what you are doing. You have no feeling for the guys you leave so why worry. Let the guys feel bad. Let yourself be happy with a new guy every week.

      You do not have Philophobia. You are just a regular middle school girl learning what she likes to do most in her teenage life. You will eventually realize the title you will get in high school. Trust me, you will be labeled a whole ton of labels once you get in high school and maybe even right now among your peers. the way you are carrying yourself, prepare for even more hurt than this one tiny message out of all the billions of people in this world.

      Don’t let me, a human out of maybe 10 billion people, ruin your day. I am simply telling you the truth and being honest. I’ve messed up and you will too if you continue this path. Turn now or forever keep your pitiful, labeled, 14 year old silence.

      -Dr. Doctor

  38. Anonymous Anonymous

    See I’ve never experienced love and don’t intend on it.. I went to the cinema with my friend one time and whilst we were sat in the cinema, he tried to make a move on me, told me we could “work it out, go slowly” well I don’t think I’ve ever jumped out of my seat so fast in my life. I ran to the bathroom and started panicking and it was the worst fleeing in the world- I thought I was gonna vomit. It’s happened a couple of other times (not in the same scenario though) and everytine somebody tries to be in a relationship with me, I feel so sick and I literally shake.. I can’t do it.

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      I meant to put feeling*

  39. Xafi Xafi

    I was so surprise when I’m start to read this,I now I know what was happen to me..I hope I can fall in love again with someone..

  40. Anonymous Anonymous

    Suburb !!!!!!

  41. Anonymous Anonymous

    i also have philophobia. i think its because i had a bad relationship before that my ex-boyf cheated on me and i also have some family issues which makes me hard to believe that love thing. everytime i fall in love with a guy, and i confessed to him, and he started to love me back, i avoided him. i cant even look him in the eye. everytime i saw him or he started a conversation (even chatting in social media) , i feel like i wanna puke. i had a bad feeling and got sick. i hate it. i hate myself. like im playing with his feelings but im not. i just cant control myself. but i think this is the best way. so that i will never get hurt again TT^TT

  42. Anonymous Anonymous

    i think i have also philophobia. It is too hard for me. as i had a relationship which ended very badly and leave a deep scar into me. then life goes on , i thought i got over it. but sometimes after i realize tht something is wrong with me. i can’t let anyone into my life. it makes me uncomfortable horribly. like that love hunts me. after my brkup i tried many times to engage with someone one. But THE THOUGHT of getting into a relationship makes me terribly afraid. I don’t know what to do. sometimes i feel so alone. i need help. T_T

    • Life Life

      I Love you 🙂

      • Anonymous Anonymous

        i would love to share my experience as your reply. yea that was fact that i can’t feel any emotional attraction to anyone, but within a year my life changes a lot. I met a guy, lets give him a name, Breath. well we all try to focus on our problems of life where as the solution is more closer to ourselves, we forget or do not realise the importance of them. just like our breathing. we all live across the life but never really think about, if we stop breathing we will die. He came to my life n teach me how to love myself, my life, he always were there in my crucial time to make me more strong. He confessed his love without any terms and conditions knowing that wld not possible, still his love was more stronger or greater than my phobia or something. He never told me or want me to love him back… he just gave and without any expectations.
        I had a very bad past but my present is more than enough to eliminate all the bad feeling of my past and I believe future will be the same as now. I am fully in love with him. ?

  43. red red

    I’m a loner!! At least that’s what I call my self.
    When a relationship starts to get serious I feel the need to just be alone
    Again. I end up running out on the sweetest men. I’m 70 now and after a whole life
    Of feeling this way:: I don’t see any hope to change. I find things I don’t like zero in on them to give myself reason to run. I have such a good time as long as it’s just
    Friendship any more than that I start planning my escape!!

  44. Anonymous Anonymous

    I just realize i might have or have not this phobia.
    I’m 20 y.o girl growing up in a broken home family, my mother left my father who’s cheating on her and i’ve live with my grandma when i was a child and have to saw all those clash between them (my mother and father), i have never been afraid of feeling emotional for some person or being too close for comfort to someone, it’s more like i’m scared of the past experience that happen to my parents that i’m starting to think that it’s scarry to be in love with someone and have a relationship with that person.
    It doesn’t mean people who have this phobia can’t feel love, but it just were to scared that love and relationshop won’t cut out for us.

    • Dr. Doctor Dr. Doctor

      Here is what I think. You will be fine. what I think you should do is take what you have seen and do better than it. If your parents have been fighting, learn how to love and treat your significant other right. Find the one for you and keep testing. you may have to go through dozens of relationships to find the right guy, but that’s what if will take if you are serious about finding them. So stop wishing about wanting to eventually find love and just GET OUT THERE! you can do it and I know you will be able to find love. I’ve been in all of your shoes and I can GUARANTEE that you will find true love one day. I promise.

      -Dr. Doctor

  45. Moon Moon

    I’m going through a difficult situation… I’m not comfortable in love or relationship… I feel irritated.. My throat get collapsed.. It feel heavy… Why this is happening… Plz help ?

  46. Fiore Fiore

    I am not afraid of love, I know how fearing love is, but what I feel is like.. damn I can’t explain. I feel like love is useless, like.. what do you win from a relationship? What do you win from a hug? Comfort? There are other things that can comfort you. Why to say ‘I love you’? Do you really know what it means? Why to even have feelings if we all hurt each other anyway? We’re animals. The only difference we have with animals is that we have the possibility of creating things and ruining the world.
    I know I sound cold and heartless, I myself can’t even tolerate what I’m saying but it’s what I feel.
    I feel fookng nauseous and think all of this. Why to love? It’s unnecessary for me. I don’t expect you to understand but it’s what I feel. I’m not afraid, I just feel like all this bullsh*t of love is useless.

  47. De Grieving Daughter De Grieving Daughter

    I’m not afraid to love, its just that ever since my mother died when i was 14 doing Grade 9. I has been in relationships and some have lasted for more than 3 years but my last relationship my boyfriend proposed marriage and I turned him down. He was hurt,did not understand why.
    I can love but with the death of my mother I calculate every decision when it comes to relationship.I dont know if I need help coz I have lived like this for the past 10 years.

  48. Thanatos Thanatos

    Someone, please make me fall in love

  49. Robyn Robyn

    Could philophobia result from being asexual?

  50. kamal deep singh josan kamal deep singh josan

    I was fall in in love with my cousin and after that I never sleep better in nights only slept for 4 hours. because she is my cousin so it is not possible to marry with our area if a boy even talks with a girl their parents thought that two of them called in love so it is not fair and they kill to of them that is owner killing

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      Bro just tap dat

    • Anonymous Anonymous

      There is always someone else! Keep safe Kamal! There are beautiful girls everywhere you go.

  51. Anonymous Anonymous

    No one deserve your love, stay away and lonely it’s better for you.

  52. CupcakeFazce CupcakeFazce

    I am just reading the comments Guys I’m zoo Bored

  53. Rakhi Saikia Rakhi Saikia

    Loving someone is not bad but being fraud by them is the thing what u dnt expect from them…If u fraud by them then it will say heartache…After then u will not blv easily other peoples…

  54. darkangel darkangel

    oohhhhh nnnooooo!!!!!!! I have this feeling since my bf broke up with me!!!!!!

  55. Dean Dean

    All this bullsh*t about “you think you have Philophobia cause of past relationships” is complete and utter nonsense, seriously think about what you are saying. Some people including me have never fallen in love because we actually have Philophobia. Be grateful for the fact that you had the opportunity to experience this, I guarantee most of you will find your way into a relationship again someday. You won’t be complaining then I assure you of that.

  56. N N

    I have a close friend which I love and I am afraid it will ruin our relationship as close friends. Does this count as Philophobia?

    • N N

      I cry almost every night because of it, I cant do anything about it or make progress because I am afraid.

      I’m in love with her since summer even at the time she had boyfriend.
      We met every day at the summer until she moved city, school and broke up with her boyfriend.

      We did not talk for 9 months, but now we meet like every day and talk about everything there is to talk about and now were really close friends.

      I’m in love with her but I don’t want to ruin our friendship, whether by telling her or breaking up with her.

  57. Anonymous Anonymous

    I always feel lonely and envious of other people’s relationship, but when someone finally take interest in me, i just feel nauseus and i practically just tried everything to get away from them. What should i do?? It keeps happening again and again

  58. bimrisha das bimrisha das

    Reading your thoughts felt like reading myself there. I have not been through a complete relationship, before we broke apart. Now after that I feel I just can’t have anyone come so close to me. When I meet new people, it hardly takes me time to get close to them, but then like a bucket of cold water falls upon me, I withdraw. I move away so that they have no chance to get anymore closer and hurt me. I lose that person and it also upsets me but I console myself that it’s for the best and move on.

  59. bimrisha das bimrisha das

    wanted to ask there any possiblilty of getting this phobia through broken trust and fear of getting insult???

  60. James James

    Do philophobics ever come back to past relationships after they escape and fear leaves? I heard they Are famous for rubber banding and returning after breaks.

  61. DD2 DD2

    I am 23 and I have never dated. Honestly even though I have a lot of female friends, I feel none of them likes me enough beyond ‘brotherliness’ and equally the few people I have asked out rejected me on the same account of being ‘friendzoned’.
    I am demotivated from even making a friendship attempt on any female I see since my earlier experiences have produced disappointing results and due to this, I am not even enthused to entertain female prospects towards relationship.

  62. Allison Bluer Allison Bluer

    There was one guy in particular I would hang out a lot with. Apparently I was the last person to be informed that he liked me. One day a girl asked me if we were dating, and when I told her that we weren’t, she had me sit down and explain why not. Of course there were a bunch of logical reasons, but she focused on my philophobia.

    I’ve known I’ve had philophobia for a long time now. Since elementary. I just never knew the word for it until middle school. So, I was used to explaining it for some time, and after a while it seemed tedious. On this specific night, I was super drained because we were at school, working way past 10. I didn’t feel like explaining it. So I punted the ball to said guy who had a crush on me and told her to ask him what philophobia was and why he thought I kept rejecting him.

    When she returned, after waking me up from my power-nap, she told me she knew what it was and like any decent human being, respected me and didn’t press on. Unlike said boy.

    Later that night, I learned that when the boy that had a crush on me was explaining what philophobia was, someone was eavesdropping. That someone, a separate boy, started laughing when lover-boy over there was done. When he stopped laughing he commented, “That’s a stupid fear.” And I’ve felt subconscious about it ever since.

    But that’s my point. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty or upset that I am what I am. And if whoever is reading this has philophobia too, then you shouldn’t feel terrible about it either. I know a few people who eventually got over most of philophobia, after years of trying. But that’s the thing. You have to want to get over your fear. Don’t have people push you around or tell you that you need to change. And the fact that the majority of people I’ve confided my fear to have tried to change me or reprimand me. (Mostly guys, in my experience. Sorry, dudes :/) I don’t need to be changed. I have this fear for legitimate reasons.

    But yeah, that’s my rant. If you’ve read through this entire essay of a comment, I applaud you. Thanks for reading.

    • Michael Wazowski Michael Wazowski

      I have a (relatively) close friend whom I would like to ask out; however, he has mentioned to me a few times that he has philophobia.

      What tips do you have for asking out people with philophobia? Thanks!

  63. Anonymous Anonymous

    I was in a relationship which didn’t end well. He left me for some other girl. At present I’m so afraid of relationships.I think that my relationship are going to end soon. I think like I can’t handle relationship. Months ago one boy proposed I was so damn afraid of the word ‘love.’

  64. Anonymous Anonymous

    I was in a relationship which didn’t end well. He left me for some other girl. At present I’m so afraid of relationships. I feel my relationships are going to end soon. Months ago one boy proposed I was so damn afraid of the word ‘love’.

  65. Person Person

    So I’ve had a couple of relationships, one of them ended when my boyfriend had said he was seeing someone else. My heart shattered, I didn’t know what to do or how to react. The worst thing about it was that 1. His best friend told me and 2. It was over text messages. After his best friend had told me, I asked him myself and he admitted to it.

    Every time someone says they like me and want to be together, I try to give it a go but in the end I always think of possible reasons to how the relationship might end so I then push them away and eventually break up with them.

    I try not to get into relationships now just in case anything happens but most of the time I just can’t reject the person who is asking me out.

  66. Me Me

    M also feeling the same



  68. annonymouse annonymouse

    well I guess I also have philophobia even though I did not realize it for a while now.But I need help honestly …

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  70. henry henry

    wonderful articulate, sometimes philophobia are developed by so much heartbreak. I guess no one would want to pass through hell,all for one thing, and that’s “love”.

  71. Girl_awaiting_reply_to_long_mssg Girl_awaiting_reply_to_long_mssg

    Never in my school days, I talked to boys about matters other than studies. I was focused on my career and got into college. I am in the final year of college and throughout my journey, I was bewildered by seeing how brilliant students were having ‘one-night stand’, easily having hook up and then break up. #-4 bfs/gfs in 2-3 years, having sex. It disgusted me. I know society is changing, and believe me, I too am not extremely orthodox. But this issue concerns me! I get Facebook mssgs from unknown guys, and clearly, they aren’t nice people! I fear trusting any single guy!!! I want to be a passionate lover and one- man girl, but i dont think I can trust any man! I liked a guy in college, my best frnd he was. But then he started avoiding me after 2 years of great friendship, only to spend time with a girl he fell for. It hurt me, and I realised there is something more than friendship. I accepted it is his choice to decide, but as a best friend, I was concerned, because that girl has had 4-5 breakups, with our batchmates (including my best frnd) having witnessed her get cosy and kissing publicly. That has even dreaded me, Why do guys want to get so much physical!! When i say this, ppl mock at me and say that i fit in a fairy tale. I feel i can never build trust on any guy ever, or even respect any such girls. HAVING GENERATION GAP WITH MY OWN GENERATION (sob). All that matters today is look and style. Who is in hell in pursuit of true maturity/education/knowledge?

  72. Jana Jana

    I was in a relationship and he told me he loved me and I said it back by I felt like I need to and he was waiting for me to do so. But then the next day he said we moved to fast and He broke up with me, because of this I felt the need to stay away from boys because I felt they would all treat me like that and know I get it. It hurts me to look at one to even think about one. Once I told my friend about this she told me I was philophobic and I understand know. O really want to get over it but it’s so hard…. I really want someone who can treat me right if he is even out there.. It would be a miracle. Sometimes I lay in my bed crying and wondering why he broke up with me but I relived he was a player and he ended up dating someone else the next day….

    Anyone have any advice for me???

  73. Jana Jana

    Sorry for my bad grammar skills 😋😊😁

  74. Red Red

    I don’t think I have this phobia, but I am scared of love. I don’t really trust people, I only think of how they could hurt me, how they could leave me, ect. I am scared that I will fall in love with someone, I will accidentally hurt them, or they will hurt me…. It’s to the point where I can not even really crush on people. If I think I might like them, I make myself get over that feeling quickly. I never let it get out of hand…It sometimes really hurts that I don’t feel those feelings, but I think it’s for the better. I also perfer to do things by myself. I can’t even really see me having a deep relationship with someone. Whenever someone says anything about dating, or something, I tell them it’s pointless. We will most likely break up so why even try?

  75. Cody Cody

    i have one friend that has this and I’m worried about them, as in i really don’t know what to do for her. I just am willing to do anything to help her,I can’t give any money cause I don’t have any and she means the world to me. I would die for her,even if it meant breaking my family’s hearts cause they don’t like her but i really want to help her get past this no matter what it takes.

  76. Glay Glay

    Nothing hurts than been cheated on and when you leave the person because you can’t afford to share him, he gets to live his life happily ever after your break up and you in the other side ,you are still trying to move on.No matter how many rebounds you will have ,its still hard to get out of that trap.It becomes very difficult for you to love again,,am starting to think that I do no longer have a heart to love or if I’ll ever have feelings for another man.I tried to forget and I even told myself the worst stories about him and how we can’t be back together but nothing changes.

    Doctor I need some advise please help,the pain is killing me piece by piece.

  77. Lynn Lynn

    Yep. The last time I tried to do the normal dating thing, he wanted us to be in a relationship. I literally started having bad physical reactions at the mere idea, and when we broke up, all of it went away. I should also add the last time I was in love was with my late husband. He death was traumatic, and basically spiraled me into this. It’s been 5 years.

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